A Month Of Debarcles
by SophieWophyPanda
Summary: Hermione is going out with Ron. Ron is a git. Harry is there too but is disappearing. There is also a group called the Navengers, They are making the school awesome. Muppets and Toads and a whole lot of crazy. A very different Fic.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1 - The Flobberworm Debacle**

**Thats What She Said!**

Professor Trelauny knew what people said about her. Yes she heard all those questions about her sanity and she saw all those imitations of her. She admitted to herself that she wasn't the best seer in all the land but sometimes that scraggly haired loon would see something so true that no one could deny. One of those times was on a Thursday afternoon in her 5th year class to Hermione Granger.

"Oh Deary! You're going to have the most interesting year of heartbreak and love!"

Hermione was sitting in the great hall talking to Harry about philosophies of spiritualism (ok just kidding) Hermione was talking to Harry about the fact that YOLO really wasn't cool to say any more because Lavender had just shouted it and flashed, (did you know some one actually did that - i don't lie). When Ron swaggered into the Great Hall, he had been swaggering everywhere since he got Quittich captain. He had the cocky aragant strut down pat. He pushed away some first years and sat opposite Harry and Hermione.

"Oi Hermione, wanna go out with all this?" grinned Ron (because yes, he did think he was all that)

"Er Ma Gerd!" Yelled Lavender "Someone actually wants Granger!"

"Ummm sure Ronald" said Hermione. I mean she did like him didn't she? He was her friend and he was alright looking and other girls wanted him and no one really wanted her so why not?

He reached across the table and gave her a very clumsy kiss, getting pumpkin juice on his tie. The table started clapping and Hermione blushed. Harry smiled and patted Ron on the back. The smile didn't reach his eyes though.

First period was Potions and Hemrione sat down at her usual seat next to Harry. Harry smiled at her in the innocent and sweet way he did. Hermione smiled back. That was when Ron walked up to Harry's desk and very rudely pushed Harry's books off the table

"Get your own girlfriend you looser! Go on! Push off!"

Hermione was shocked at Ron's possessiveness but brushed it off as him really liking her. Harry just went and sat with Neville.

Through potions Hermione worked really hard on her and Ron's pain potion. Ron started leaning back on his chair and talking to Seamus. Neither noticed the evil smirks on Harry and Neville that made Malfoy look like a kindergartener trying to do a horse impression.

"Hey Ron, Can you cut up the flobberworms for me?"

"Sweeeeeetie, look, you're the one who's good at potions so I think it might be better for you to do it so I don't mess it up, don't you agree?" Wink and smirk.

"Argh, sure..." _He just isnt good at potions and wants to get a good grade... Yeah._

"Hey Hermione!"

"Yeah..." said Hermione as she was cutting her flobberworms perfectly, you see the thing with flobberworms is that you have to cut them a certain way or it can have explosive effects on your potion.

"Hermione! Hermione! Hermione!"

"Mmmmm..." she said still cutting

"Hermy Hermy Hermy" _Who calls me that? _she thought as she continued to cut.

"Mmmmmmm..."

Now the person was poking her in the side. Now the person had grabed her face and was puling it up to look them in the eye. What happened next will be remembered for a long time.

"Look what I can do with my tongue!" said Ron doing that thing where you roll your tounge that more than half the population can do. (gee, he really thought he was cool)

There was a small flash of magic that most didn't even notice that propelled the worm upwards and into Hermione's potion. The mixture started creating an ominous cloud of thick orange gas which burnt the strings hanging some ingredients to the roof, dropping the string at a high force into Ron's Face making him step back onto Snape's foot just as a bucket of Kinksta worms that was on the roof fell onto the heads of Ron and Snape covering them in worms and leaving a bucket over their heads. The whole class started laughing and both Snape and Ron started trying to get the bucket off. Snape looked murderious and Ron looked like a cross between a constipated 3 year old and that evil guy from the smurfs.

Gryfindor lost 3000 points.

Potions was cut short that day.


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry I Forgot Last Time! I don't own Harry Potter (Insert original way of saying that here)**

**Thanks For Reviewing if you did! and if you didn't PLEASE Do! I would really appreciate it! THANKYOU!**

**Chapter 2 - Harry is a No No Ron is a Nah Nah**

"Oh Harry that's Wonderful!"

"I know!"

"So the spell is 'you stupid bunch of scrab metal! WORK' and then your mobile phone works!" (Because don't you wish it was that simple?)

"Yeah! I just got angry at mine for not working and pointed my wand and yelled at it and, I am now a spell creator!"

Harry and Hermione were walking to Divination for last period together. Ron was at the Quittich pitch showing off his captain's badge. He did that any chance he got.

Class was as usual, Trelauny proclaimed Harry would die twice and then they had to look into glass balls. Harry predicted that Hermione had a best friend who would become great and Hermione predicted that one of her friends would have an ego bigger than a Quittich pitch. Neither were wrong. When Ron arrived he predicted that Hermione would have the best boyfriend ever. That was dead wrong. He continued to snog her for a while and left Harry feeling very awkward (Don't you hate that!). When they stopped Harry said he was feeling a bit peaky.

"Shut up! Sit down! Me kissing my Girlfiend shouldn't make you feel sick! You should feel honoured!"

"That's not what I meant" whispered Harry quietly.

Harry missed dinner.

Hermione was worried. Not as worried as she would be if it was Ron - not because she cared more just that if he missed a meal it would be a sign of the apocalypse; but still worried. When Neville came down she asked if Harry was ok.

"Oh, no. He's not good. He's in the infermitory with a fever and delusions and he won't let go of that phone you gave him last summer."

"Oh, I should go and see him later" Said Hermione worriedly

"Nah! Let the tosser lie! He doesn't appreciate our friendship" Said Ron with his mouth full.

"And leaving him sick and alone is the way make him"

Ron acted like he hadn't heard. "Besides! I had an idea of what we could do tonight that doesn't involve Harry at all!"

Hermione was unsure but then a memory of that afternoon came to her mind.

_Flash back_

_Hermione was just in the common room reading about a type of animal that fights with its chest when Lavender Brown and Parvati Patill walked in and sat next to her._

_"hey Granger, your a Quittich girlfriend now and as so you need to learn a few things" Said Lavender_

_"Yeah, you need to learn" added Pavati_

_"Ok..." Said Hermione_

_"You aren't appreciating Ron enough. He is like a God who chose to go out with a mortal."_

_Started Lavender in her best wise voice that just sounded like cheerleader in an American movie cross a care bear cross an otter (not that I have anything against otters)_

_"Yeah Start appreciating!" Added Pavati_

_"Believe me when I say that there is no one else and if you blow it with Ron than you will have no other boys ever." Said Lavender _

_"You won't ever have another boyfriend" Added Pavati_

_"So stop hanging out with Harry so much and start spending time with your only ever boyfriend."_

_"Harry is a No No Ron is a Nah Nah" (I think only Australians will get that)_

_"Yes Ok Bye Now" Said Lavander_

_"Bye" Said Pavati_

"Ok Ron, your right" Said Hermione

Neville just shook his head.


End file.
